I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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