Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
