seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
