Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
