marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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