I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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