I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
