I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
