i think my tv is drunk
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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