Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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