Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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