he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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