Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
