i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
