In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
