I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
