LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
