Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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