ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
