Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
