my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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