Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
