You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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