That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
