Ambien. No doubt about it.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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