3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
