I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
