Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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