how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
