he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
