Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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