Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
