My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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