some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
