so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
