Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I will pee on everything he values.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
