My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
