worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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