Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
