did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
