im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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