i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
