i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
