I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
