alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
