Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
