You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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