YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
