I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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