just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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